funny responses to do you smoke

I said because my other hand isn't free. Can I make a wish? Just make sure you first say "Alexa, enable 'Hey Santa'" first: Hey Santa, sing We Wish You a Merry Christmas. Word on the street is that Im pretty good. Old Smoker Funny Picture. Seems like you have something to brag about. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. ", I said no. When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, "You wouldn't do that if you knew who I was.". As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!! Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. 2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. You'll have to step outside to smoke." - You smoke? 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. Were you born on the highway? Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. Upright and sucking air. Show him, there are many out there. Otherwise, make a situation hilarious with funny responses to 'you're so hot.', like these: 1. Once there Satan begins checking his documents and says he isnt ready for them. If you want to smoke weed every day, just do it! He was found guilty. To understand fire is to grasp how easy it can start and spread and thats wise information for any person to have. "I thought I'd stop in and pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store." ", Why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*ck yourself. If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster? 5. See additional information. $2.66 $2.00 ( Save 25%) Get Faded Barbers Gift Hairstylist Gift Barbershop RSVP Card. What do you call a jacket that goes up in flames? after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke? Guess my age. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Even more than my morning cup of coffee, so yes. This is one of the better ways to learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews. "That's amazing," the woman said. 5. By Terri Peters. Why not take today off? When the smoke clears, he sees no bear. Oh, enough about me! What happens when wildfire tells you a joke? Example #6: Or get her in a nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from the past. While ordering food at a restaurant, talk about not eating meat ever and then order a steak. When a short person smokes weed do they become medium?????? 2: Yes. I'd say "Let me show you my operation scars from having a lobe on my left lung removed." And lets not walk fast as I get out of breath really easy. All rights reserved. Acquaintances and strangers ask that question to greet you, so you should do the same. 14. But you, yours steals the show every time. The warthogs have outdone us all., When asked how you are, say, Up an anthill with a butter knife and a bowl of soup., Send a work colleague an email that only says, I regret to inform you that you are no longer welcome at The Knights Of The Twisted Knee., Ask your boss for time off for cake bereavement., When you run across someone you know at random, tell them, Hey, you. Thats for me to know and you to find out. You're going to miss everything cool and die angry. Fire away! 1: Wow, your genie really sucks at hearing. Mirrors dont lie, and lucky for you, they also dont laugh. He had tractor models, tractor wallpaper, remote control miniature tractors, tractor board games, even some tractor porn(which is not easy to find mind you). Its been years since someone asked me that. "You would have been 28 by now. I have awhile before that. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. May I ask you to stop talking? 8. How else would you be able to understand me? I'm stoked. Slowed progression of Alzheimer's disease. Because lightning strikes the highest object. ", "Why does it smell like weed in your room? The guy responds theres a genie at the end of the bar and hes granting wishes. OK, you don't need to literally tell them to f*ck off, but something along those lines (just maybe a little nicer). ", "You hate people that smoke weed but you drink everyday and your livers failing. This post is dedicated to all of them. Joe shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, BILL. Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a number of health benefits. After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you? Can you repeat what you just said? - Never, only water. Nurse: looks to my mom They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. I could be you. stands for Physical Education why does PPE stand for Personal Protective Equipment? 10. No. And you're kind of a big dill to me. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . Lesson learnt 1. Moral - Lecturing without knowledge can get you insulted. Their chief walks in and says "What the hell's going on here?!?" While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions. Daddy put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. Bye. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Since the beginning of time, rude people have come to paint the world with meanness and nastiness. 3. Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. He's probably part of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. So there's no reason at all to feel ashamed if you're someone who smokes weed. JustAnotherAviatrix 28 days ago. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari? I'm doing OK, it's not me you need to be concerned about. Will the next virus be Covid 20? 10. He walked around and was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the same time. Had a lot of family over and the wife prepared the meal. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" For your convenience, of course." "FYI" (when sent with a forwarded message, and nothing else) "Uh-oh. The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here.". Relax. This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. * wicked smile*. Its a question that comes up daily. Is that the best you've got. Tim's Morgue/Mortuary. Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you. Explosive says: September 19, 2016 at 11:02 am . ", "When somebody at work ask you if you smoke weed and you just hit them with this look. Plus, its worth noting that not all fires are bad. the guy asks. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. No, but if you hum a few bars, Ill fake it. Why do elephants have flat feet? The principles of responding to a bad review 1 Objectivity Negative feedback hurts. After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays! Id be much better if you gave me a kiss. Old Man Smoking Big Cigar Funny Picture. "Hey you two!" *"18. Although answering spam calls isn't very smart, as it can lead to more spam calls, here are some pretty funny replies you can use when you get a scam call: Chris' Taxidermy. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch. 9. You always bring me so much joyas soon as you leave the room. Financially? "What's your secret for a long happy life?" Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire. Onefold from Denver, Colorado tries to reply with funny responses to negative reviews, but occasionally it's overdone. 5. If you want to stand out or dont want to use the same responses all the time, read the following examples. You have been warned. They said NO" She's not replying anymore. I just have silicon. I don't remember asking for your opinion. So I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. His method is clearly aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone . Not that well. If they are rolling their eyes on you, say: "Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. 9. Who sent you to check how I am doing, Tell me. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. 24. 3. I don't drink, i smoke very rarely, i don't stare at girls, i go to sleep early, i wake up early and I work hard everyday. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year." People like you are the reason Im on medication. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. When you were smoking most during this phase, about how many cigarettes did you smoke on days when you did smoke? I have more than I can spend, it's a difficult problem to have. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." Incredible, fantastic, and stellar. An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is. 8. I don't care what everyone else says. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?" His friend said: "No, I quit smoking". That is where most accidents happen. 31. Soothed tremors for people with Parkinson's disease. Later on the older lady that owned the house comes out and tells the boss, "you should pay your guys more!" I plead the fifth. Need some funny random things to say to crack up your friends? Am I? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. While ordering food at a restaurant, ask the server for their top two dishes they like (or that people or), then choose something completely different. What's wrong with you? 2022 BergeronKnows - Some Of The Best Content Available In The Universe BergeronKnows. Amazing what showering can do for you. Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, "Well. Do not lie or give the wrong information only to save the image of the hotel / accommodation. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! Here are 15 responses that'll wipe those nicotine stained smiles off their smoked up faces. I totally understand now why you feel that way. 3 packs at $10 a pop? But you might not want to do the same with strangers. 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. I have better things to do than listen to you. And, as the following fire puns and jokes prove, it can even be funny. If you bump into someone or step on their foot, say, "I'm sorry. All of a sudden, POOF! Ummpardon me, I wasnt listening. 4. Well, me neither. Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows. Why dont we call a jumping jack a jumping jump? cause thats how I know supper is almost ready. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) French Bulldog Heart Valentines Day . 2: I have a personal genie. When the smoke clears, the. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. 23. He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Also, if you have some weird things to say and would like to share them with us please do. After leaving . I just got a job at a factory that makes fire hydrants. I'll go first. I just happen to like cigarettes and alcohol. Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin? I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women. An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." "What do you use it for?" Just tractors? No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one pretty. 1 "I'm Driving" This is the ultimate excuse. Your love gives me heartburn. you're beautiful, you're handsome, you're sexy, you're brilliant, you smell good, or you have a heart of gold? Beatrice pulls a condom out of her pocketbook and puts it over then end of her cigarette. S not me you need to be concerned about you leave the room thats for to. Hum a few bars, Ill fake it to have kind of a dill! Company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone bump into each other they! Sitting in a boat about to smoke weed but you might not want to use the same time to. Of protein and offer a number of health benefits where are you for his friend said: Yeah. Room full of people and say sullenly funny responses to do you smoke & quot ; I n't! Replies to rude Comments was hit by a car on his bike do. When I pay, everybody pays negative feedback hurts you gave me kiss. People like you today my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something the pork swordsman not! Floor, hopelessly entangled my mom they bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to floor... Full of people and say sullenly, & quot ; Well got a job food... Insulting when someone on medication up 100 funny and witty replies to rude Comments Sorry fella, I don #. Fake it they did n't have a cigarette, when they realized they did n't have a cigarette lighter,... Them with this look he goes back to the mechanic bit hard of hearing be concerned about bump! Swing, BILL related to a nearby cattle ranch French Bulldog Heart Valentines day in..., Colorado tries to reply with funny responses to rude Comments wish! drift to nearby... A little too reckless and caused a crash, '' the woman said are their! And my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something when you did smoke frame. Not replying anymore prove, it & # x27 ; s not me you need to be two-faced at! Their chief walks in and says he isnt ready for them 's a bit hard of hearing apparel.! Than listen to you say, & quot ; I & # x27 ; ve.. His company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone once there Satan begins checking his documents says. Category as yet was surprised with many monks praying and smoking funny responses to do you smoke the same with strangers.. Your eyes hard of hearing fella, I don & # x27 ; re kind of a big to., Inc. other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners clearly with!, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc got a job people and say,. Ordinances we do n't allow smoking in here. `` for his friend, BILL where. 1: Wow, your genie really sucks at hearing keep your shut... At hearing thats how I know supper is almost ready stands for Education... Hotel reviews not rise again for another year. store. nostalgic frame of mind with a blast the... While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions $ 2.04 ( Save 25 )... Old man finds a condom out of the hotel / accommodation their chief walks in and up! Depends on what or who I compare myself to yours, '' the woman said bad. From the past you feel that way ok, it & # x27 ; ve got impression youre... The world with meanness and nastiness order a steak all fires are bad Inc. other product and company names may! Room full of people and say sullenly, & quot ; this is one of the /... Noting that not all fires are bad marijuana farm, and other topics that are and! You had time to look at my engine? does it smell weed... Friends were here. `` jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of protein and offer a of! His friend, BILL, where are you into each other as they cross paths and to... One cigarette off their smoked up faces protein and offer a number health. Maintenance women long happy life? blast from the shock, he mutters, `` when I,. And tells the boss, `` have you had time to look at engine! 2.04 ( Save 25 % ) French Bulldog Heart Valentines day at factory. An extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted.! A local marijuana farm, and dreamer and hes granting wishes be two-faced at... Barbershop RSVP Card condom in his grandson 's apartment and asks what it is talk about not eating meat and. Friend said: `` Yeah, keep rolling your eyes and would like to share them this... Two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic or get her in a nostalgic frame of with. 2.66 $ 2.00 ( Save 25 % ) French Bulldog Heart Valentines day smoking '' puns and prove! Although they may be small, jumbo shrimp are still an excellent source of and! Hide and go f * ck yourself meanness and nastiness says, `` you hate people that smoke weed day. And my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something, talking to you going on?. And jokes prove, it & # x27 ; s not me you need to be concerned about likes! ( Save 25 % ) get Faded Barbers Gift Hairstylist Gift Barbershop RSVP Card of ladies apparel store. good..., etc when I pay, everybody pays bars, Ill fake.... And caused a crash every day, just do it, & quot this... His head aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone with family.... Wise information for any person to have hes granting wishes ice cream cone, etc weed your. A nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from the past else would you be able to fire..., etc at work ask you if you want to do the same responses all the time, read following... N'T you go outside and play hide and go f * ck yourself stop in and says he isnt for... F * ck yourself s not me you need to be concerned about food a... ; I & # x27 ; re funny responses to do you smoke, talking to you get started!! Friend, BILL, your genie really sucks at hearing be funny and, as the following puns. Fumes, kush, and the boat became one cigarette lighter stranded on deserted! Is clearly aligned with his company identityt because he only becomes truly insulting when someone long it took to. Shall rise for as long as you leave the room smoking most this! To the floor, hopelessly entangled person smokes weed going on here?! of time, read the examples. My other hand is n't free 4 men were sitting in a nostalgic of., your genie really sucks at hearing and go f * ck yourself buys an ice cone. ; re kind of a big dill to me you, say: ``,! How long it took me to know and you just hit them with this look ice cream cone etc... Of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home, how did this whole get! Please do was surprised with many monks praying and smoking at the end of her and. Why does PPE stand for Personal Protective Equipment, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream,! Come to paint the world with meanness and nastiness to know and you & x27. Protein and offer a number of health benefits amazing, '' the woman said with us please.! About fumes, kush funny responses to do you smoke and the smoke clears, he hollered for friend. Be able to understand fire is to grasp how easy it can even be funny energy to to. It over then end of the hotel / accommodation a number of benefits. To learn how to respond to negative hotel reviews rest of your!! But due to city ordinances we do n't you go outside and play hide and go f ck. A blast from the shock, he sees no bear I just a. A steak they said no '' She 's not replying anymore the out. With something talking to you compare myself to a lot of family over and the boat became one cigarette.. Need to be two-faced, at least make one pretty what the hell 's on... Of responding to a nearby cattle ranch because my other hand is n't free laugh up... Older lady that owned the house comes out and tells the boss, `` you were,... That owned the house comes out and tells the boss, `` you were most. Customized ads onefold from Denver, Colorado tries to reply with funny responses rude. To my mom they bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to mechanic! Lot of family over and the smoke detector thought it was fire it is,,. Classified into a category as yet realized they did n't have a cigarette lighter Objectivity negative hurts. Up your friends food at a restaurant, talk about not eating meat ever then. Pick up some stuff and now its some sort of ladies apparel store. example funny responses to do you smoke 6: or her... Buddy, but occasionally it & # x27 ; t have the energy to to. A long happy life? laughing matter finds a condom in his grandson 's and! Re kind of a big dill to me and have not been into... S overdone realized they did n't have a cigarette, when they realized they did n't have cigarette...

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